Lethal Doses

One hit can be deadly . . . Some people carry so much toxic energy that to fuse yourself with their spirit can leave you terminal. Negativity has a radiating pulse, and too much of it can stop the beat of your own. Checking in for a visit can have you checking out from the morgue.

The funny thing about any bad addiction is the shadow of reality it masks to your eyes. You think you need it, at times it feels good, but the aftershock always leaves you depleted with self.

My addictions have always had first and last names. It was always easier for me to latch on to people rather than a substance. Like any other drug, with every first encounter it was amazing. My problem was always exiting when the time was right and I could no longer feel the same high.

I somehow find myself addicted to “Science Projects” and unhealthy relationships. “Science Projects”, are people who are lacking some major functioning necessities due to their own lethal doses of negative life experiences. Because I am wired to care for others I attract these individuals like Dr. Moreau. It’s like bringing home a stray dog. You should never be surprised when you get bit.

The heart of me wants to be their rock, but the energy from them hollows me out. My solids turn to dust and soon after I’m blowing in the wind trying to gather the fragments of me so I can become whole again. These unhealthy relationships whether it is a boyfriend, a girlfriend, friendships, or a potential suitor can do more harm then good. I know I’m not the only one who has over stayed their welcome in home they knew was falling down.

I’m learning to cut ties… I’m done trying to understand, be a hero, be a permanent stepping stone, or an absorbent of their poison. I’d rather be a traffic cop and direct them to the door. I’ve recently removed the I.V. from a few individuals in my life. I encourage them if they are reading this to clean up their issues before they replant their “drip” in my veins. As I’ve told my readers before, I’m making changes, and some of them may be you… (…you know who you are).

© A.L. Lewis