Vita.MN Summer Writing Contest

So I entered this Summer Story competition for Vita.MN Needless to say, I lost. LOL. But, here is my entry. The theme: About Last Night. . My assignment was to write an interesting and wild story about that theme in 500 words or less, however I wanted to write it. So... I took a bit of a risk with my angle for the piece, but here's what I came up with.




Dear Bearers of my $1,000,

Please don’t confuse the headline with arrogance, my mother always taught me to believe the things I say, so I’m just utilizing the Power of Suggestion. I was browsing through a Vita.Mn- which I quickly learned should not be confused with vitamins, although I hope your staff is keeping on top of their Flintstone intake. Anyhow, I ran across this competition that calls for a reflection of my wildest journey through Last Night.

Wild, you say? Well, I’m from a town quite like Pleasantville, so it’s hard for me to discern the exact level of excitement you’re in search of. I’m sure needlepointing without a tapestry needle doesn’t qualify as edgy living. And when I’m not trapped in my Sudoku puzzles, I spend most nights watching Mork and Mindy.

But believe me that prize money would come in handy.

You see, I need new material to finish up my Sandra Dee costume before Grease returns to the Orpheum. Somehow I hear better when I dress in character. I also want more Twilight trading cards to add to my Team Jacob scrapbook. New Moon comes out this November!

I already know what you’re thinking and no, I’m not a prude. I’ve been known to walk on the wild side a time or two. I’ve worn white after Labor Day, taken my shoes off without untying them, and once I even double dipped a potato chip at my grandparents 40th Anniversary. Crazy… I know. And I’m not ashamed either.

So as I was sitting in my bedroom, contemplating my destructive journey towards the finish line in this wild competition I began to see my plans draw closer to reality:

“I’d jump in my car, forget to buckle the seatbelt, get to an intersection and do an illegal “Rolling Stop.”

After that, I jaywalked through the traffic to a restaurant, ran inside, and budded ahead of the couple in front of me. I nearly gave my waiter a heart attack- my elbows resting on the table. I demanded more time with the menu and after his 4th attempt to get my order, I finally settled on milk and chili cheese fries- I’m lactose intolerant.

I excused myself to the restroom where I carefully lifted up all the toilet lids before running my wet hands over the courtesy mints next to the towel rack. I was an untamed beast but at least I left my waiter a tip. Normally I carry a calculator- don’t forget, the standard is 10%. But since this time around I was being wild and free, instead of money I scribbled a few words on a napkin: “Here’s a tip buddy, don’t quit your day job.” Oooh, I’ve always wanted to say that. You see, the madness never ends.”

…but as I continually pondered the shoulda coulda wouldas that reside at the avenue of my wildest possibility, I saw the sunlight peaking through the shadows of my fantasy and realized that my midnight through contemplation had caused my Last Night, to unfortunately escape me. It was now the morning after.

I hope this doesn’t make me ineligible to win. I fell short, but for only a second. That doesn’t mean I’m a loser, does it? I was a Wilderness Girl until I was 18. Our leader taught me a lesson I’ll always remember, “The intent to do wrong, is just as bad as following through.” Then I was only going to eat a grape without paying. At least this time around I was on the verge of crazy. Well, thanks anyway.

Nanu Nanu,
Daisy Openstein



© A. L. Lewis
Cover Art/Illustration by Dwitt of www.Dwitt.com